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A Journey to Malaga, Part 4 of 9, Sep. 30, 2006

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Because I suffer, I understand you more. So, I don’t really complain. I do complain, but I don’t complain. I do complain at the moment, like everybody else, but in my heart I understand it is good, and I am very happy, so that I can understand humans better.

I told you that I have been looking for a place for us, for you to see me, ever since I came to Europe. I was just joking about being picky, like a sea view. If we have that, I’d be very happy. Of course, I really love that. But it’s not only that that matters; there are more other things. But I really like that kind of..., truly I like it. I cannot buy because around the coast, there are not many big lands. If I want to buy a house, a mansion on the beach, then no problem! But if I buy it for you, it’s a problem. That place is a farmland and it’s a big land like 20,000 sq. meters. And it’s on top of the mountains and it’s far away from the neighbors, there’s only one small neighbor nearby, but far, and he’s very nice. Because I’m very nice to him.

He drives through my land, and normally he paid, to the ex-people who lived there. He paid by giving one-tenth water for them, but I said, “No, no need, we’re neighbors! I have to use the road anyway, so be welcome.” For example. And whenever he repairs something, like the mountain sliding down, and people have to come and shovel the dirt away and all that, and he says how much, we pay immediately! He’s Italian and we have never had a problem, he’s very nice. If I invited all of you there, I don’t even have enough space. My heart is so big; I want to invite you every day to my house! So when I knew about this center, I asked about neighbors. They said, “No neighbors!” And now I come here, my God, one on the left, one on the right, one over there, one over here, one everywhere, one on top, one down there! Sure, not your neighbors, but this place’s neighbors! It’s bad enough without you having to bring your neighbors here! Or my neighbor. Somehow neighbors, are sometimes very nice, and sometimes can cause trouble. Maybe they’re not bad or anything, they’re just afraid.

The other day I wanted to go to England, even. I took all my dogs. But before, if you had a health certificate, that was enough. Now, you need a passport. So we drove all the way to Dover, wanted to go through by train or by boat, and then we had to drive back. Because the dogs didn’t have passports, didn’t have health certificates. So I began to feel, “OK, maybe England is not my best place.” To drive all the way there, many, many, ten hours, and then drive back, it’s very tiring. I have dogs, I have things to do. I need people to help me to send emails, to fax, and to do all kinds of communication, and to drive on the curb, for example, or to drive here. So if they don’t let them come, I cannot come.

Most of you are busy working in your daily life; you can’t just help me every day. You come, and then you go, and leave me in the middle, with no driver! I have been trying to train you into my system, and to be all versatile and to be all good, and then once you are trained already or almost good, you’re just gone. Not everybody likes the resident life, I warn you, brother. After a while, you will think it’s the same every day, and then you will miss outside, the excitement outside. You see, that’s why many people still live in the world - even though they want to forsake the world, they want to be detached from the world, they can’t. Just habit! They love it there!

So, it’s not like everybody can stay forever. Many times I train some people, and then later I don’t have any. Have to retrain again. It’s not easy, this life. But we survive. I am tough. I don’t have tattooed muscles, but I am tough. I could train myself with a few dumbbells. One of the brothers used to be a fitness trainer. He told me, “Just a few dumbbells, that’s all you need. And then you can train your body into any shape you want.” I said, “I need smart bells. Dumbbells, I have a lot already.” I need IQ bells. Or maybe dumbbells, maybe can help. Just put a little muscle and some tattoos and maybe grow some mustache or beard or whatever, and driving a Harley Davidson, wearing a spiky necklace, spiky hand gloves and a tasseled jacket. Imagine, I would look good like that, no? At least I’d look scary. And people would maybe leave me alone.

But because I suffer, I understand you more. So, I don’t really complain. I do complain, but I don’t complain. I do complain at the moment, like everybody else, but in my heart I understand it is good, and I am very happy, so that I can understand humans better. Otherwise, I really don’t understand. How does a man who drives a car all the time understand the person who stands at the bus stop at minus 25 degrees in winter, waiting for the late bus at midnight? That’s why also, many people leave their dogs in the car and sometimes don’t even open a window, thinking, “I just go for 5-10 minutes.” But sometimes they go longer than that. The thing is, even on holiday, they wear flip flops, they wear mini trousers and a sleeveless shirt, they are cool. Why should they understand about the dog with a fur coat on? It’s very difficult for one to understand the other’s feelings when you are not in their situation. If you see somebody like that, go find the driver of that car and tell him to bring their dog somewhere else, or leave their dogs at home. Because it’s very much suffering for him. He could die from stroke. Or he could suffer brain damage later, even though he is alive. And he suffers.

A lot of people are like that! And I saw many people take their dogs on the street, under the hot August sun, on the pavement, cement pavement, or on the asphalt street. Oh, my heart is very painful! They can bear it, but it’s not nice - very hot! If you take your shoes off and walk on it, you’ll understand! I know it, because when I was young, I walked barefoot to the school in Âu Lạc (Vietnam). And it was very hot, so I walked very fast, almost like flying on the grass. And I chose the grass to walk on. Even though the grass was still kind of yellow in summer and all that, and little, but still better than the asphalt street. So, when I see the dogs go with the owner, in the full fur coat, and the owner with miniskirts or bikini, walking the dog on the street like that, oh, I don’t know what to do!

I wrote the poem about, “I Don’t Know What To Do With My Heart,” it’s a true feeling - I really feel like that every day. Everywhere I look, it’s suffering. Everywhere I look, it hurts my heart, all the time. Not just humans’ suffering, animals’ suffering. Even pets are supposed to be pampered, and good already, dogs, they bear everything. But they suffer. They know the difference between the heat and the cold. They know the difference. If you give them the choice, they would prefer more comfort. They know it! They are not used to suffering. People sometimes tell me, “Oh, they’re used to it.” No, they endure it only. Remember the dogs in Hungary? They told me also, some people told me, “They are used to the cold.” No! Now they love the house! They go do poo-pee quickly, and then run back in the house, on the sofa.

Remember the dog, the new dog that I just got? The big guy? He had been chained all day and night, I don’t know how many years, without a roof over his head, winter and summer. And that is a middle country of Europe. Very cold in winter, very hot in summer. I don’t want to tell you where. I don’t want you to have prejudice against any country. It just happened that one of the people did that. Not just that country, every country, they have things like that happen to animals. It’s just different. Different, but suffering a lot. Rarely, rarely, any dog keeper understands and considers the dog’s feelings and the dog’s comfort. Rarely, they understand that.

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